Work-life balance, that elusive beast.

The phrase was used for a number of years to describe the difficulties faced by women trying to juggle work and family. Now we see it used to describe the challenges we all face in creating private space in a world where our devices make us available to everyone – work and family and friends – on a 24/7 basis.

While some argue that we must reestablish boundaries, others argue that the 24/7 online world affords us a new kind of freedom, if we would only let go of old notions about our lives being segmented by non-existent walls and doors.

My problem is with the entire concept of “balance.”

To my mind, the word “balance” betrays an unspoken, underlying presumption that we can achieve balance if we are just smart enough, organized enough, productive enough….

Here’s what I believe: We cannot achieve balance. I just don’t think we can ever find it, just as we will never find a pink zebra. (Barring genetic engineering, but that’s a different conversation.)

The general idea traces back to the infamous announcement to women that they can “have it all.” Interestingly, though feminists are often blamed for spreading this myth, it was actually popularized as the title of a very successful book by Helen Gurley Brown, the editor of Cosmo magazine for 32 years, “Having It All: Love, Success, Sex, Money” (1982). But Gurley Brown hated the title and protested vehemently against her editors foisting it on her book.

Women figured out a while back that the concept you could have it all – which isn’t much different from claiming we can find a work-life balance – was a luxury reserved for the wealthy, at best.

The reality is, in the end, we must make choices.

There are only 24 hours in a day, and despite many Americans’ (and American businesses’) attempt to ignore this fact of biological life, for the vast majority of people there are serious physical, psychological, and cognitive costs to sleeping less than 7 hours a day on a routine basis.

I block off 7 hours a day for sleep, with rare exceptions, otherwise my productivity in the hours I am supposedly “awake” drops like a rock. (Of course, this is easy for me. I was born with a natural talent to sleep anywhere. Any time. I was the UNI Campus Champ for Most Hours Slept with Head on a Library Table. But I digress…)

The nasty fact is, I believe, we must make choices about what to do with the other 17 hours.

Having a conscious awareness of our values, and a plan for living those values, can truly help to map out those hours, day by day.

My experience has been that when I attempt to give everything its “fair share” of time, I am focused on nothing because I’m always worrying about that other thing I’m not tending to.

I’m curious … what would happen if you made choices and simply abandoned things that are too low on your priority list to put a claim on those 17 hours? Would it lead to a daily life that is more peaceful, less hectic, more mindful, and less anxious?

I’d love to hear about your experiment with setting priorities versus finding balance!